


Transmission Log 9

by SassyStrider



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers, Timeline Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6743428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyStrider/pseuds/SassyStrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How are you doing? Is life going well over there? By the time you hear this, I’ll be dead in your timeline, and you probably miss me right now, don’t you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transmission Log 9

**Author's Note:**

> I h a t e m y l i f e. Anyway, this was originally written for my creative writing class, but today's Kawoshin Day (5/3) so I decided to post I because I like it.

 [TRANSMISSION LOG 9 (FINAL, MOST CURRENT TRANSMISSION) IS LOADING, PLEASE WAIT…]

            Dear Shinji,

            How are you doing? Is life going well over there? By the time you hear this, I’ll be dead in your timeline, and you probably miss me right now, don’t you? I’m so very sorry that I couldn’t, and still to this very timeline can’t, bring to you the happiness you deserve. Every single time I reset a timeline, I try my hardest but to no avail. In the end, I can never succeed, and my efforts are fruitless. Somehow, I end up dying or, worse, you die along with the rest of humanity. Every single time, my life- or, rather, lives- flash before my eyes- your tear-stained cheeks splattered with bright red blood, and your soft smile from the times we’d spend together. That smile… I’ve seen it so many times, and it always warms my heart to see your soft face smiling because of me. Seeing it makes me so glad I could bring joy into your stressed life. It makes me so happy I could stop your tears, even if for just a day. I love that, and I love you.

            Do you hear the piano music from that one time I taught you how to play? The laughter as your small fingers pressed against the keys, and the warmth you felt as I sat beside you on the piano seat, playing away a complex melody. Even though the music itself was lovely, the sweet tone of your happy voice was the better of the two, for me. It was the musical symphony that resounded in my ears. I... want to see more of it- more of you, Shinji, Your soft and smiling side, free of worries if for only a second.

            Everything I see is your face. Everything I hear is your voice. Everything I am, Shinji, is you. I continue to live so your existence can be happy one day. Shinji, I will be the one to set you free, I promise. I want to take you away from all the pain you endure. Someone as precious as you doesn’t deserve the torment you’ve had to go through, with your father, and EVA, and all that stress... You need something happy in your life, Shinji. I'll be there to say "I love you", and make your face light up, if even for just a second. I'm tired of tears and frowns, Shinji. Aren't you? How many times now have you seen my death? How many times have I seen your face contorted with sadness, sobs filling the air and hiccups in your throat?

            And so I will continue on with this cycle of never-ending disappointment and torture with the bleak hope that maybe in one of these timelines I will succeed in this goal that’s letting me go on in life. I will never give up on you, Shinji, and I don’t want you to give up on yourself either. Be strong, okay? Hang in there, I’m coming for you. I’ll be like one of those human princes on their brilliantly white steads, swooping in to save their beloved and ride away with them into the warm, creamy orange sherbet sunset with their fingers interlocked tightly together, and one day… one day, I will rescue you from this awful hell. I will not rest until you’ve been saved- until you’re safe and smiling. Whether I’m alive or not to see it doesn’t matter. I… I just want you to be happy. Shinji, I lov-

[END OF TRANSMISSION LOG 9. TO REPLAY, PRESS 1. TO GO BACK TO LOG 1, PRESS 2]

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This was originally titled Safe And Sound
> 
> Tumblr link: http://bluh-bluh-huge-blogger.tumblr.com/post/143820350752/transmission-log-9


End file.
